No matter how loving your husband is, they still have NO IDEA what you are going through in the first trimester UNLESS you TELL THEM. I was commiserating with a good friend on the phone. She found out because she asked me and I decided that I won't lie if people ask. She has two kids and I was telling her how awful my first trimester is right now.
She said she totally remember being completely exhausted by 3pm every day. By then she had one kid to look after all day already. You know what her husband said " he pulled up the charts showing her the size of the baby at that time and said how can something so small make you this tired." Not the most sensitive thing to say and he loves her dearly. And it's their second kid. It just shows that guys have NO IDEA what it's like in the first trimester unless you tell them and ask them to help (without blaming them).
I was somewhat good at this although the blame did come out still as my hormone makes me much more emotional and needy now. But luckily for me, Jaime listened past the initial comments I made and realize that I needed his emotional support and understanding to make this easier. All I sometimes needed were
- he to tell me what to eat as my taste buds were shot and I was tired of trying to decide what would make me vomit or not 6 times a day - he understood it. thanks honey
- let me cry when I want to and not worry as I tell him that it's just hormones and I feel better afterwards
- let me talk to him about worries regarding having another kid
- allow me to decide last minute what to eat and where to eat for dinner
It was not easy to build this understanding but I am so thankful I talked to him and he listened and is helping me. I don't feel alone anymore in the pregnancy even though I am the one carrying the baby. We are doing it together and in spite of my daily nausea, I smile when I think of my hubby and our second baby.
- Lei
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