Sleep Trained Angel

After much heartache, I think we succeeded in Isabel's sleep training of crying it out. It was so hard but so worth it. We tried 3 methods before it worked.

1. Cold turkey - no swaddle, no feeding, and the Ferber method (soothing her after a few min and waiting longer each time up to as long as 25 min before soothing her again)
   Result: We gave up after 6 nights. She was crying as long as 90 min sometimes. Then on the 6th night, she woke up every hour to cry for 30 min. We couldn't take it anymore and was worried that she was afraid to go to sleep, etc...
   
   
2. Middle of the road - no swaddle, no feeding, and gentle persuasion (soothing her as soon as she cries - until she went back to sleep)
   Result: We gave up after a week. She was crying a little less but still woke up 2-4 times a night. We gave up after visiting her pediatrician at her six months check-up. He suggested method number 3
   
   
3. Cry it Out - swaddled, wedged in (so she can't easily flip over), and cry it out (no soothing at all until she sleep again)
   Result: It has been two weeks. We definitely had challenges with this one too, but it seems to be working now. She can sleep at least 9 hours straight without crying now. Around the 6th night, she cried about 90 min once and I almost gave up again. But then I thought, if I gave up now, all the training is lost and she suffered for nothing. So although it really hurts to hear her cry, I toughed it out and just stayed up the whole time she was crying. I blogged, watched TV, and talked to Jaime while we waited it out. Wow, that was a tough night. But it all got better from there.
   

She cried about 10 min the next night once, and then only 1-2 min once each night after that. The last few nights - no crying at all from 9-6 and then even when she woke up, she didn't cry until she saw one of us or it's around 7am. We peek at her without her knowing and she would just play.

Moral of the Story - Crying it Out fully works

• Ferber method didn't work. As soon as she saw Agnes soothe her, her energy to cry was renewed. It's better and faster to just let her cry until she sleeps. It sends a clear method that she needs to go back to sleep on her own and no one is coming. We of course make sure she is safe. Agnes is a trooper and checks on her from under the bumper to make sure Isabel is safe, while avoiding being seen
• Give any method 2 weeks. Isabel is smart and stubborn. She will test us fully before giving up. If I gave in on the 6th night of our 3rd method, she would have won and know she can still get us in there with pro-longed crying. So glad I stayed strong.
• Crying is not bad for the baby. She may sound like she is suffering or hungry, but our pediatrician assured us she can take it and it's worth it to train her. Uninterrupted sleep is the best for her.
  
• She doesn't need to eat at night. We actually developed that habit for her by rushing to her at her first cry. At 12 weeks, she started flipping over swaddled and we freaked out and started rushing to her at her first cry every night after that. Little did we know, that ruined her sleep through the night habit and since then, she started getting up 1 to 2 times a night to feed. I think if we just thought of putting a pillow in her crib to prevent her from turning while swaddled and then let her cry a little instead of rushing to her every night, she probably wouldn't have develop the bad sleep habits that we then had to break with the method above. Oh well, c'est la vie. Such is the life of new parents!

At the end of the day, we are lucky she is so healthy and a good girl after all. I still get up to pump, but since she is sleeping through the night now. I feel comfortable pumping at 5 or 6am now instead of 3 or 4am, so I can sleep up to 7 hours straight now, maybe even 8. Ahhhh, such a blessing!!

- Lei

Cold Turkey - night 4 and 5

Isabel did well for night 3 and 4 - slept from 10pm to 7:15am. Then last night, all was erased it seemed. She had trouble going to sleep. Didn't sleep until 10pm, then woke a little at 10:30pm, then 12:45pm (we had to feed her), 4:30am, then 8am.

While we would like for her to sleep through the night, we don't have the heart to have her cry night after night. We also don't want her to feel scared in the dark. So we have a new strategy starting tonight.

Not all was lost as we accomplished two goals with this training so far: 1. have her sleep unswaddled and sleep with no milk until at least 6am. Both were successful. Yeepy. I still have plenty of milk again for her to be 100% breastfed. She looks so cute sleeping with her arms spread out.

Our new strategy is to have a routine for her at night that is gentle. First a bath around 7:45pm, then feed her, then read or play with her for a bit before she goes to sleep. If she wakes up in the middle of the night, Agnes will try to soothe her without picking her up (she won't leave her though). We will still try not to feed her before 6am. This way I can pump some milk for her and have a chance to sleep as well. After 6am, I will feed her or Agnes would feed her the bottle if I need to sleep.

We will see how this goes. Every baby is different I guess. Isabel is a good girl. She will learn all in time. She still haven't learned how to sleep on her tummy. She always seems to freak when she is tired and happen to flip herself on her tummy. She doesn't know how to flip back to her back to sleep or sleep on her tummy. This may be why it was hard for her to be sleep trained. Whatever the reason, we are making adjustment and see. What's really important is she is a very healthy and happy baby. :-)

- Lei

Cold Turkey - night 3

She didn't sleep until 9:45pm, but she slept all the way through to 7:15am this time. I was restless all night worried about her, waiting for her to cry, and feeling relieved when I didn't hear it. Motherhood is tough at times.

We agreed to feed her at 8am so she cried and complained from 7:15 to 8. And then I fed her and took a nap with her for an hour. Those are the best times. She was snoring, so cute.

I am hoping tonight will be just as good as last night. No guarantees though. She is a baby after all. Wish us luck..

- Lei

Cold Turkey - night 2

Isabel fell asleep before 9pm last night and woke up twice (at 1am and at 5:30am). I am really glad I went out salsa dancing last night because I was so tired, I was able to sleep through the crying while Agnes soothed her according to the Ferber Method. I don't think I could have taken it if I was awake. Isabel was up 45 min at 1am and almost 90 min at 5:30am. But she did fall asleep after that until 8am. While I was able to sleep through most of it, I dreamt again of feeding her and cuddling her in my dreams.

I fed her in the morning at 8:15am. She ate and slept with me until 11:30am. I guess I felt guilty, although it's so necessary. We have spoiled her by feeding her at night when she really doesn't need it. Now we are correcting that.

Tonight will be hard, as I am at home all night. I am trying to sleep late, so I will be tired later and won't wake up to her crying... my poor baby... On the bright side, I am saving up more milk for her as I still pump at night.

The battle continues... wish us luck... She looks so cute unswaddled and snoring

- Lei

Cold Turkey

Isabel is almost 6 months old. We finally decided it's time for her to sleep through the night, unswaddled and unfed. This is hard as this mean we would have to let her "cry it out" if she wakes up in the middle of the night, not pick her up, or feed her. We are using the Ferber Method. It will not affect her health as she can go without eating for 24 hrs and be fine. It's just that she is so used to waking up and eating in the middle of the night. We have to do this to break the habit eventually.

We started this last night. She actually went to sleep by 8:50pm and didn't wake up until 4:45am this morning. But then she cried and cried for what seemed like forever (maybe 45 min). Agnes soothed her according to the Ferber method (first after 5 min, then 10, then 15). Isabel fell asleep and then woke up again at 6:10am.

This time hearing her cry was heart wrenching. All I dreamed about before she woke up again was feeding Isabel and holding her in my arms. We originally agree to not feed her until 7am but I couldn't take it. Since she already fell asleep once on her own, I fed her at 6:30am and she fell sleep by 6:50.

She woke up at 8:15 this morning and seems fine. We have to do this again tonight and thereafter until she sleeps through the night. yikes. At least I am so lucky that Agnes is doing this. I just need to stay out of the room and let her cry, which is soooo hard already. Wish us luck.

- Lei