Got Milk?

Not a lot and I am kind of sad about it. I love breastfeeding Isabel. I feel so close to her when I breastfeed her. My favorite moments are when I lie down to feed her and she falls asleep snoring. She sound so happy and at peace and I end up falling asleep with her. I feel like I just got a A+ on a test and I got to sleep through the whole thing :-) (nerdy I know, but true).

I also love breastfeeding her on the rocking chair with the boppy pillow. She sometimes would just drift off to sleep and I can just watch her breathe. Unlike lying down where I can't see her well while she feeds, I can see every single details sitting on the chair. I used to love watching her eyelashes grow over time as I feed her. It's also such a content, serene feeling to just watch her sleep. It's like I can feel all the innocence and wonder in the world through her calm breathe and dreamy expression.

Breastfeeding of course has not been all "hot chocolate and smiles." It was definitely quite challenging at first.

-I had blood blisters for the first 10 days and therefore piercing pain whenever she fed which was about 10 times a day.

-My shoulders and arm used to ached so much because I didn't know how to hold her well when she fed and I was tense that she was uncomfortable.

-She sometimes cried even when she was feeding. It was rare but when it happened I felt so inadequate even though it may not have anything to do with milk. She may just need to burp or sometimes it's because I was dehydrated so milk was coming as fast for her.

-After 4 or 5 months, the TV would distract if I fed her in the living room and it was like a wrestling match to fed her at times.

-I also had trouble pumping milk. It took me four weeks to learn and get used to it. The first time I pumped, my nipples literally doubled in size and hardened. It freaked me out.

- Last, but not the least, breastfeeding means never having a full night sleep. Up until last months, I was getting up still at least once a night to pump as Isabel is sleeping through the night but my breasts were full of milk by 6am and would wake me up.

I am sure there were other challenges as well, although I don't remember anymore.

It all worked out in the end and it is worth all the effort. I was really determined to breastfeed her. There is definitely no substitute that is quite the same. I felt so needed every time she fed. Now that is changing. I was so afraid that she won't reach out for me the same since I have less milk. It turns out to be a silly worry. She is almost 10 months and knows I am her mommy. While I only feed her twice a day and the rest is formula or solids, she still looks so excited to see me at all times. Ahh, what a great feeling to be a mom. Isabel shows me everyday what unconditional love looks like and I am basking in the glow of it.

-Lei

Pumping 101

Get your mind out of the gutter, this is not about that! It is about pumping breast milk. You would think that if you spend almost $300 on a Medela Advanced Pump (the best out there), the milk should come out easily and comfortably when you use it.

Boy was I surprised. The first time I used it (I have the one pictured here) was when Isabel was 4 weeks old. I used it for 15 minutes and almost passed out in pain. No one ever told me that pumping actually can be quite uncomfortable and painful. I was also tense. I kept checking to see how much milk was coming out and was holding the shield and bottle the whole time (not a very comfortable feeling).

Anyways, after 15 min, my nipples doubled in size and were in pain and I only got less than 2oz out. Yeeks. I almost gave up after the first time. Long story short I didn't give up and I found out, like anything else with the baby, pumping takes patience, practice, and a lot of learning

I tried bigger shields - didn't work (I found out later the regular shields worked just fine)
I tried looking at Isabel's pictures while pumping to encourage let down - didn't work
I called Medela customer service for help - didn't help too much

What worked at the end was perseverance and practice. I just kept trying different things. I found out
- putting a heat pad or taking a shower before hand helps
- watching tv or thinking about something else help as it made me relax and not think too much about how much milk I am producing
- pump no more than 15 minutes and stop earlier if nothing is coming out for awhile
- buying the hand free pumping bra help (even though it was $30 for stretch cotton with two holes cut out of it, it's worth the money to not have to hold the shield the whole time)

Even though pumping is never as comfortable as when Isabel feeds on me, it is pretty comfortable now and helps greatly in relieving engorgement when Isabel is still asleep. I still have to get up at 4 or 5am every night to pump because I have so much milk and Isabel usually sleeps until 8 or 9 am now. It's worth it though as it gives me the freedom to go out while someone else can still feed Isabel with the bottled breast milk. Feeding her the bottle was challenging at first as well, but that's another story...

- Lei