Monday, November 29, 2010

10 most effective parenting tips

In order of priority. I think #2 is often overlooked and not considered, but it is crucial. See full article on this at http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=77315

1) Love and affection. You support and accept the child, are physically affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time together.

2. Stress management. You take steps to reduce stress for yourself and your child, practice relaxation techniques and promote positive interpretations of events.

3. Relationship skills. You maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse, significant other or co-parent and model effective relationship skills with other people.

4. Autonomy and independence. You treat your child with respect and encourage him or her to become self-sufficient and self-reliant.

5. Education and learning. You promote and model learning and open-mindedness for your child.

6. Life skills. You provide for your child, have a steady income and plan for the future.

7. Behavior management. You make extensive use of positive reinforcement and punish only when other methods of managing behavior have failed.

8. Health. You model a healthy lifestyle and good habits, such as regular exercise and proper nutrition, for your child.

9. Religion. You support spiritual or religious development and participate in spiritual or religious activities.

10. Safety. You take precautions to protect your child and maintain awareness of the child's activities and friends.

Lei

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Duck tour with Agnes and Isabel at 28 months

Isabel loves to swim - Sept 2010











Date with Auntie Isabel - Oct 2010

Swimming Lessons with Daddy - sept 2010

Our wedding site

I just happen to find our wedding site that we put up 3.5 years ago. Wow what memories.

http://www.mywedding.com/leijaime/

http://www.mywedding.com/leijaime/stories.html (Jaime wrote our story down - so great to read again)

http://www.mywedding.com/leijaime/guestbook.html (the entries from the guestbook is awesome to read too)

Lei

Isabel's 1st Giants Game



Halloween 2010

Isabel's 2.5 year old check up

All is good. She is 30 pounds and 36.5 inches tall. She is at the 75% for weight and height. She was given a booster shot for an immunization. She cried for 10 seconds and then got distracted by the lollipop.

Doctor said we can
- switch her to slim milk instead of whole milk. 20 oz is still fine
- her diet of rice, bread, chicken nuggets, carrots, cabbage, broccoli, hummus etc. sounds good
- don't let her play in the bath as it will dry her skin. 3 to 4 times bath a week is good
- use fragrance free lotion to make sure skin is not dried by fragrance lotion: no need to go to allergist. She will outgrow the dry skin (crossing our fingers)
- we need to brush her teeth with a manual toothbrush in the morning and only use electric at night so her teeth are not desensitized

All is good. A very healthy, active girl!

Lei

Monday, November 15, 2010

Lao-lao's visit

Responses to Rent vs. Buy

I sent my post to the owner of Patrick.net - Patrick Killelea and also to my realtor to get their response. Then I sent my realtor's response to Patrick. Patrick was kind enough to comment (pretty funny). Here is what I got. I am still leaning toward renting as I think there is always a conflict of interest with realtor (any of them - good or bad) - as they only make money if you buy a place.

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Patrick's response
Hi Lei,
did you try the NY Times calculator?http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/business/buy-rent-calculator.html

I think it's important to:
  1. Not assume you'll be there 30 years. Average ownership is only 7 years.
  2. Not assume ANY appreciation. It could just as well depreciate. Also, rents could just as well fall. My own rent is less now than it was 11 years ago, for the same house.

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My realtor's response and Patrick's comment on her response

I think your blog is very interesting. Well, I suppose I can’t help it since it is my business = ) I believe in having the right reasons in buying a home so expectations are managed. More often than not, one is buying a home to set up “roots” where they can live for many years, be part of a community and raise a family. The American Dream. Have something constructive, something you can actually touch and feel. Then later pass on to your children, for them to have something to start their lives with.

Patrick: That's all very manipulative button-pushing, hoping to trigger emotional responses to get a irrational payout from the Lei Han ATM machine...

In addition to actually having a roof over your head and a place to sleep, here are some other points to consider why homeownership makes sense.
1) Principal pay down, Equity Build up and Appreciation – In a 30-year fixed loan – in 30 years of paying mortgage, you are paying the principal down, and you are building equity in the process. The home will be free and clear and it will be yours in 30 years!
(Patrick: And perhaps worth less than you paid, even in 30 years. See Japan.)
It can be sooner if you paid twice a month and pay it off in 15 years!
(Patrick: That much is true.)
It will appreciate in value- definitely! In 30 years – history has shown that to be true. In renting for 30 years one will have nothing to show for the payments being made and will most likely still need to rent.
(Patrick: Absolutely mathematically wrong. If you save money every month by renting, you have the money. Someone is willing to use you for a commission...)

2) If you are worried about getting tied down – you can rent the home and have the tenant pay your mortgage – Great Investment! That is why buying in a good neighborhood is important because you can find a tenant should the need arise.
(Patrick: Right, you can rent it out for half as much as your monthly expenses... Not a good deal, except for the realtor who is long gone with your commissions. Yes YOU pay the commission. All money comes from buyers.)

3) Cheap Money – currently interest rates have been the lowest in 35+ years! When interest rates move up to say 7% that same home of $650,000 with 20% down - your mortgage will be $ 3,439.51. It will cost you approximately $1,000 more for that same house!
(Patrick: No, if rates surge prices will fall to compensate. Though it is possible that rates will rise because salaries are rising too quickly for the Fed, in which case prices could go up even with rising rates. But you'll get a lot of warning if that's going to happen. Currently, we have falling salaries, not rising.)

4) Leverage – where can you tie up a piece of property worth $650,000 with as little as 3.5% down ($22,750) – an FHA Loan. Of course depending on the buyers credit worthiness, and yes there are closing costs to consider, mortgage Insurance … but it is possible. The banks will lend the buyer $627,250 to buy that particular home. And eventually should they make their payments as scheduled, they get to own that home in 30 years! I think that is amazing!
(Patrick: Yeah, and think of the massive amount of money you could lose with leverage too.)

5) Homeowners as compared to tenants tend to enhance the quality of communities because most have pride of ownership, they tend to maintain their homes better, they contribute more to their communities, parks and churches and because of these, their communities have better home values… unlike transient communities that have high rates of tenancies. A majority of tenants don’t care since they don’t own the home.
(Patrick: Several studies have proven that there is actually no measurable benefit to the community from owners. In fact, they're usually more stressed out about their mortgage to take much of an interest in anything else. 70% of people in Switzerland rent, and they're not dumb.)
(Patrick:Real estate is the worst possible investment. You should buy only if: 1. You can easily afford it.; 2. It's cheaper than renting the same thing.)

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My 2 cents: I have heard this sales pitch from Realtors many times, but I think it doesn't present a balanced view. All the headache with owning a place is not highlighted and so many people rent in the bay area that I don't think her last argument#5 holds. You can almost as easily rent in a good neighborhood as buy in the same neighborhood in the Bay Area.

Also #3 doesn't make sense. If interest rate goes up t0 7%, then housing prices will come down as there are less buyers in the market so sellers has to compensate by lowering their price if they have to sell. I much rather buy the house at a lower price and pay the high interest initially because I can always refinance when rates decrease. I can NEVER readjust my purchase price once I buy the house.

#2 sounds cool but I don't know any home owners who are renting their house out for a profit in the bay area and I believe you lose some of the tax benefit if you rent it out vs. living in it. I don't think your interest is tax deductible any more except for the difference between your rental income and the mortgage. A big negative!

Anyways, will keep you posted on where I land - so far renting still works for us :-)

Lei

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Rent vs. Buy

This is more of a note to myself but perhaps it will be of interest to others. As more of my friends buy houses, I can't help but revisit our choice to still rent at this point. We probably have the means to buy a place and some of the listings look quite good right now, but on the other hand the complexity it will add to our life is quite daunting as well.

As both Jaime and I value freedom and simplicity, buying a house seems to be quite counter to that. Nonetheless, I have been spending the last few weeks going through the motions of considering what it may take to own a house.

Here are some things I realize. Assuming a $650K house at Parkside in San Mateo.
  • Many hidden one time cost
    -
    closing cost - 2% of purchase price ($13K)
    - selling cost - 6% of purchase price ($39K) - when I plan to sell my house, I will eventually have to pay for this.
    - set up cost - curtains, washer dryer, fridge, etc.. ($10K at least)
    Now, once I buy the house, the house needs to at least sell for $712K (9-10% above purchase price) for me to break even. I realize I will build up equity over time, but in the first few years, the mortgage is mostly interest building and the average house owner move every 7 years.
  • Opportunity cost of the down payment+ one time cost - $130K + $62K- could I earn more in the stock market in 30 year with $192K than owning a house?
  • Monthly / Annual Cost adds up to more than I thought
    - Mortgage - $2560 monthly ($600k house at 20% down and 4.25% 30 yr fix)
    - housing insurance - $100 a month
    - gardening - $50/ month
    - electricity - $250 a month (we don't pay any now renting)
    - fixing cost - once i own it, whatever is broken will need money and time to be fixed. Depending on how old the house is, some people budget at least $100/month for this and sometimes $10K a year. My realtor that I can purchase a home waranty that is $250-450 (a year?) or upward that could cover repair - another headache to deal with
    - commute cost - currently I walk to work in SF. If I move to the pennisula, I would have to drive or bart which adds another $200 a month.
    Now owning a $650K house would cost at least $3000 a month in Mortgage + other costs
  • Property tax is hopefully offset by tax benefits of home ownership- 1.2% of purchase price ($7800 a year) paid semi-annually I think this is usually offset by tax benefit (as long as you don't have a cash flow problem - usually have to pay taxes first before getting the benefit). I will have to figure out how true this is.
  • A huge commitment - once I buy, what if I don't like the area? cost of selling is high. We could feel stuck which would add a lot of stress. This leads me to think I should rent first in the new area and make sure I like and then look for a place to buy.
  • According to Patrick.net, it's not a good idea to buy. Here is his simple rule of thumb
    annual rent / purchase price = 3% means do not buy
    annual rent / purchase price = 6% means borderline
    annual rent / purchase price = 9% means ok to buy
    $2600x12 / $650K = 5% -> according to Patrick - not good to buy. Patrick breaks it down really well on his site and helps me a lot with my learning process about real estate. You can also see his talk at Google here
  • Condo prices may look low but HOA will kill you - A $550K condo with $400HOA seem to cost the same as owning a $650K house.
As I learn, I realize we should do the following when it comes to buying a place.
  • Rent before I buy in the area - it's probably essential to rent in the area first before we buy. I applause those who can directly make the jump and buy into an area. I don't think I can do it. We enjoy our freedom and would hate to risk feeling trapped. We love where we live now - too bad it's not affordable to buy.
  • Move based on good public school for Isabel - we don't believe in paying for private school before college. So we will move just so we can find a good public school for Isabel starting with Kindergarten. I am really leaning toward Mandarin Immersion Public school right now which fortunately is quite prevalent in the Bay area including a new one just chartered for Alameda. There is one even in Potrero Hill in the city. Will check it out soon.
  • Make sure where we live has a high walk score (>80) - Our current place have a perfect score (100) for being very walkable everywhere to key places like grocery, shopping, restaurants, bars, public transit, etc.... We love it and Agnes and baby love it. Anywhere else we go is a step down but 80 and above would be great. There is a site that calculate the walk score based on your address. I will use that to search for listings.
  • Buy a place when it's possible to rent that place for a profit. Otherwise renting is more stress free and cheaper, I think
Well, this will help me remember. I can add to it as I learn more. If you have more knowledge, pls do share. Thanks!

- Lei

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

SF Giants 2010 World Champs!

giants rocked! Jaime is so excited. So are we all. Agnes pulled this together last night. Enjoy!



- Lei