Do I have to grow up now?

I had morning sickness; My tummy is growing daily; so I know I am pregnant and will be soon a mom. Once in awhile, however, it just seems all so surreal. Where did all the time go? Am I really ready to be mommy. Nobody is ever ready I guess. Once in awhile, I would look at Jaime and still say "we are married?" "I am pregnant?" as if it's happening to someone else or it's all a dream.

A small part of me misses the old days of going out, going on trips with girlfriends, being very care free. I keep hearing from friends with kids - "sleep now because you won't get any your first year. or go to the movies now because you will never finish one once you have kids. So daunting and scary... A small part of me wish I was still a kid. Another part of me think we will be different - somehow we will be super parents who can take care of our kid and have some fun too. I can still hope, right?

I always remember that when i was a kid and was so eager to grow up, many adults told me "savor your childhood - it's the most happy and low stress time of your life" Now I get what they mean.. I guess it's all part of the life journey...This is a major life change, I suppose. I look forward to it with much anticipation, excitement, and nervousness. I guess they wouldn't call it life if everything is predictable.

On second thought, I would probably lament if I wasn't pregnant or married now. I guess I am human with fickle thoughts and worries. Part of the journey of becoming a mommy...

-Lei