I have been rushing

Only a few days ago, I realized why I have been so tense. I have been rushing around everywhere trying to do too many things.

I started work 3 weeks ago part time and I thought "great I live so close, I can come home and feed the baby at lunch time." What a brilliant idea! Well, not so. I tried and tried and ended up rushing home to feed her and thinking about work as well and then rushing back for meetings and then getting home at 6 or 6:30pm.

What was supposed to be a pretty easy schedule feels like a 12 hour work day 4 days a week. I guess that's what I get for being a perfectionist. I have since learned. Now I go to work from 8:30 to 3:30, eating lunch at my desk, so I can go home and then devote my complete attention to the baby or working out or relaxing.

Finally an doable schedule... I also was able to settle into a regular workout routine - Sundays and Thursdays yoga and Wii Fit twice a week. I haven't figured out how to fit salsa nights in there yet, although I probably should have gone tonight since I am still up now and feeling anxious.

I have been trying to go to sleep by 10pm since I get up early now to feed the baby before I go to work. Well, the idea is nice but I am not always sleepy early, like tonight. I tried for an hour to sleep and finally gave up to blog.

I am still learning how not to rush. I think it has to do with learning how to not control everything and letting it flow. It's a work in progress. I think I was doing fairly well before the baby. As a new mom, I easily reverted to my old ways of survival - by trying to be a perfectionist. Now that I am starting to get the hang of things, perhaps I will let up. Time to sleep...

- Lei