It's been 12 days since I delivered Isabel. I figure it's just enough time to be sane again but not have motherhood amnesia yet to tell you all about my delivery and recovery experience fairly honestly and objectively.Warning: Don't read this if you don't like graphic details. For those who have not had kids but want to, this may be more than you want to know.
The Good - let's start with the positive
- Isabel was born perfectly healthy and so adorable and I am in good health after this ordeal
- My OB (Dr. Jane Fang) was fantastic and came in to do my delivery and C section after hours even though she was not on call that day - she came after a fund raiser all dressed up but jumped right in at 9:00pm to first try vaginal delivery and then delivered Isabel at 10:15pm by C section. I was so relieved she was there
- Some of the nurses I had at the CPMC were super helpful and went above beyond to teach us how to care for baby, comfort me, and give us loot (including Cheryl, Jeanette, Tatia, Ruth Hong, June). The last two being my absolute favorites
- Hospital food was surprising good and plenty. It even included an impressive selection of chinese cuisine (Jook or congee, steamed buns, fried rice)
- My mom arrived on Sunday, May 4th and started cooking me great organic chicken soup and congee (wow, so yummy)
- Women's Health Resource Center offered Postpartum Massages for $65 an hour (no tip needed given they are a non-profit). Janet was my therapist and she was great. She came to my room. I just had another massage today at the center next to CPMC hospital
- The Epidural when working was a great relief - only mild pain and pressure - and it was fairly painless to receive it
- The nurse (Svan) who gave me the IV was great too (minimal pain)
- I had a morphine shot the night of May 1st when we first came to the hospital and they turned us away. The shot helped me sleep most of the night through the escalating labor pains. I really needed that rest to have energy for the next day
- The hospital bed is amazing and can be positioned in so many ways to provide comfort
- Most likely can do a c-section next time directly if we have a second baby and skip the whole labor thing all together
The Bad(and the Ugly) - now some not so pleasant stuff
- My Epidural stopped working after a few hours. First, I had pain in some areas so the anesthesiologist kept pumping more medicine in me at my request. That helped for a short period. When I was dilated beyond 8 cm and then 9 cm, I started feeling more pain like an alien is trying to come out of my body down there and kicking the shit out of me. I thought I wanted to die instead of have this baby after a few hours. I also thought wow, if the epidural causes this much pain, then I don't know what natural birth would be like. Well, little did I know that I was experiencing natural birth because my OB discovered at 6pm that my Epidural stopped working for a few hours already. (The worst was the nurse Mary that was helping us started out nice, but around 2pm started getting impatient and told me that I had the lowest pain tolerance she has ever known since I was complaining of pain. I was so vulnerable that I believed her when in fact she was not doing her job to realize my Epidural was starting to wane and I was experiencing full pain)
- Also had a serious groin muscle spasm while I was pushing when the medication was not working. That should have been a sign to the nurse that the epidural was not working, but again no one thought of it. The spasm was so bad, I couldn't push anymore without triggering it.
- I had a second Epidural while I was 9.5cm dilated and they pumped a lot of medicine in me. So much so, I fell asleep mid-sentence from the relief. That was the good news. The bad was that my muscle relaxed so much that Isabel's head tilted too much to come out vaginally. This is after I have already pushed for 3 + hours to try to deliver her (My OB thought she can still do it vaginally, so she used a forcep in me to try to correct her head position for about 30-45min while about 10 nurses/doctors were in the room - try to imagine that view from the southern end - luckily my second epidural worked well enough for me not to feel too much pain)
- I basically had almost a vaginal birth and major stomach surgery; so serious swelling down there (thank god no stitches) and major stomach stitches from the C section all in one.
- I had at least 2 hours of the "shakes." It was pretty uncomfortable. Imagine shaking uncontrollably all over thinking you are cold and teeth cluttering. I am told it's like a drug addict that is on withdrawl - very weird feeling as if your body is out of control
- Some shitty nurses. Not all Cmpc nurses are created equal. There are definitely plenty who are there just for the paycheck and could care less about you. One nurse gave Isabel a whole 2 oz of soy formula even though we told her to just give her enough to quiet down. She didn't listen. A few nurses keep offering me vicadin for pain relief even though I repeated told them I get nausea and don't want it.
- The lactation consultant was less helpful than some of the great nurses in teaching me how to breastfeed. I felt shitty all day on Isabel's second day when she was crying all day and I still had no milk. All sorts of inadequacy thoughts came to my mind and the nurses didn't help with that and kept pushing me to use formula because they didn't want to deal with a crying baby. At 4:40pm on May 4, we finally saw a flyer on the baby's bassinet which talked about what to expect the second day. Everything we experienced was normal. I wish someone actually gave us that flyer in the beginning of the day. No one bothered
- I was bed-ridden for 4 days in the hospital - swollen everywhere and was only able to walk two blocks 10 days after delivery. I guess that's normal for C section
- The transportation team when we left was more chatty than helpful. I tried to sit in the wheelchair and almost fell because they didn't put the break on or try to help me in. They put me at the entrance of the door where there was a wind tunnel while waiting to load. Thank god, I had a heavy coat. I could have caught a cold.
- I left my cell phone and ear piece in the hospital room when we checked out. Someone at the hospital basically took them and is now using them now. I had to buy a new phone and head set this week.
All in all, not at all what I expected. I definitely was not prepared for the natural birth pain. I can see why every woman say at some point during labor that they never want to have another baby again. It's the worse pain I have ever experienced or imagined to experience. At the end of the day, I survived as all woman do. I am so impressed how our bodies can handle this process.
I am happy to be on the road to recovery and enjoying my time with Isabel
- Lei
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