The Sound of Silence

is music to my ears and surprisingly Isabel's too. You will see what I mean. Three weeks ago, Isabel started crying out every night in the middle of the night. We were starting to worry that we had to have her cry it out again which is not easy for me to bear or that she will have to sleep with one of us. Our theory was that since she is older and also has slept with me a few nights here and there for a few hours, she is crying out to want me to pick her up and sleep with her in bed.

Agnes and I agonized for two or three nights. What do we do if she cries? How long to let her cry? Do we need to permanently allow her to sleep in bed with one of us? etc.. Well, boy were we on the wrong track.

Luckily, I was not fully willing to give up on her sleeping in her crib and thought maybe if we gave her a new bed time routine, she would not cry out for me in the middle of the night. So on the 4th night, we took her to the room and turn the lights on. I read to her a few books while turning on her music soother. Once I turned off the lights, I also held her for 5 more minutes and just spoke to her in Chinese about her day and telling her goodnight. Between the nice blue lights from her soother and more time with me, she seemed calm and went to bed no problem. She didn't cry that night at all and slept all the way until 7am.

One more thing, because of all the extra bed time routine, we forgot to turn on the classical music we play her all through out the night. I started doing that after I came back from Chicago and saw that Jaime's sister did that for her baby Gabby and she seems to sleep really well.

Well, long story short, the second night I did the same bed time routine with her and noticed one thing just before leaving the room. Isabel turned off her soother music before she went to sleep. And it dawned on me. She was crying in the middle of the night before because the classic music was probably too loud. Once she woke up she could not go back to sleep and she couldn't turn it off herself, unlike the soother.

We tested our theory - still continue the bedtime routine as well and no more classical music. Well, she has been sleeping like an angel. I guess it was too late of an age for her to get used to all night music after having silence for the first 15 months of her life. Unlike Gabby who is probably used to it, it bothered Isabel and she slept soundly in my room because there was silence.

Moral of the story: Never jump too quickly to conclusions as we don't always know what's going on. Also every baby is unique. What works for one may bother another.

Motherhood is a constant guessing game and a roller coaster ride. It's challenging and lots of learning that is worth every effort :-)

- Lei