Just hanging out with Isabel

I was reading the latest vampire craze book "new moon" on the bed. Jaime went out to get diapers (what a good daddy!). It was a rainy afternoon outside - damp but also warm. Isabel decided to come over and just hang out. I pulled her up to our bed (which is pretty high) and she just started playing with her new snack cup full of cheerios.

I was not tense like I usually am when she is on my bed - perhaps she is older and I think she knows not to try to jump off the edge or perhaps I just feel more at ease as a mom. I was not trying too hard to play with her (not secretly worried that maybe I am no fun for her). I guess I have been a bit like that ever since she was born.

I used to babysit for money as a teenager but after that my contact with babies and toddlers is minimal. Every time I did have contact, I always felt like I didn't know what they liked to play with, like I was too adult for them. I remember a time up to I was 20 when I was the head of the kids pack and everyone did follow me around and I played with them all. Well, I guess I transitioned to full "adulthood" and felt disconnected instead with most kids.

Yesterday was another transition I guess. I felt at ease being a mom. I knew I didn't have to try too hard to be with Isabel. She was just happy to be with her mommy (that' me - I still have to pinch myself sometimes on that thought). She would get up once in awhile on her feet like she was surfing and then fall on me or on our soft comforter.

I started also doing peek-a-boo with her using my book. She loved that and started giggling (a heavenly sound). I would read a little and she would pull my book down, so she can see me. The old me would have been annoyed by the constant interruption. The book is really good, but I was happy to just let her do whatever with me. Motherhood is teaching me to practice patience everyday. It also takes so little for her to be happy. She is just a happy kid. We are very lucky.

It was just a nice afternoon spending some time with my Isabel while reading. I am enjoying motherhood immensely with all its ups and downs. I highly recommend it.

- Lei