Parenthood is about Patience

Did you know that what we learned and conclude about ourselves between the ages of 0 to 7 years old, fundamentally determines who we are as adults - whether we are confident, perfectionist, overachievers, insecure, passionate etc...

If you look at any issues you may have today as adults, if you look deep enough, it's probably stems from something that happened between birth and age 7. It doesn't necessarily have to be something dramatic. This also doesn't mean you had bad parents. Your parents probably tried their best.

As I am a parent now, I am very conscious of what environment Isabel is living in and how I respond to her. She is an open book right now, a blank slate and it is important for me to realize how powerful my role is as a mom in her eyes. Of course, I can't and won't be perfect but just being conscious of how my response may affect her even if she doesn't seem to fully understand what's going on will help me be a better parent.

Recently, while reading in the book - Rays of Dawn - I learned something very important about parenthood. It said "to be hasty and inconsiderate with children breeds fear, discouragement, or self-condemnation."

I think how easy it can be sometimes for a parent to be impatient with a child. Children are great at interrupting parents no matter what we may be doing and it is our role as adults to realize that it's not the kids' fault to be excited and want to share something with me. It is our role to patiently educate kids to perhaps wait until I am done with something and not just react impatiently or drop everything whenever they call on us (which is unrealistic).

My relationship with Isabel hasn't gotten to that point yet as I am always so happy to see her but I can see once she starts walking and talking, she may want my attention all the time and I cannot always give it. In which case, I want to remind myself to be patient.

In this book, I also learned that "Many an inferiority complex can be attributed to a parent's or teacher's habitual impatient attitude toward a deficiency or a lack in the child." I can see this being especially true with Asian parents as we may focus too much attention on the 10 points a child may have missed on a test instead of also celebrating the 90 points she got. Culturally, we think this is tough love and will only make our kids better, but I think there is a balance to everything and Isabel will need as much encouragement and support from us as well as understanding where she can be better.

Parenthood is a challenge and a great adventure. I am so looking forward to educating Isabel on the wonders of the world, encouraging her to explore and perhaps make mistakes, be always curious to learn more, and letting her know that no matter what, we will always love her, support her. This is easier said than done, but I am enjoying every moment as a mom.

- Lei

Thinking of Putting the Baby to Work!

Check it out. I'm thinking of starting a janitorial/daycare company!

- Jaime

Thank you for depositing in my "bank account"!

Agnes send me this great story the other day that I wanted to share with all of you. It really touches on the secret to happiness although it's much easier said then done.
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A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window. I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.' 'That doesn' t have anything to do with it,' he replied. 'Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.' Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.

It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more..
5. Expect less.
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Thank you all for depositing happy memories in my bank. I hope I can be as wise as this old man as I get older and always remember happiness is a decision I can make everyday regardless of whether I lose 50% of my stock value or win the lottery tomorrow.

- Lei

Future book worm!

All these videos in the car were taken on our way back from Monterrey after attending Jaime's grandma's funeral. Isabel definitely occupied herself, including a little light reading here.



- Lei

Isabel loves to laugh

to strange sounds



- Lei

falling sleep

We have been trying to catch her on video, falling sleep for awhile now. Agnes finally succeeded.



- Lei

new sound from Isabel

"raspberries"



- Lei

Kung Fu baby or ballerina?

- Lei

Isabel loves to hang with Daddy

- Lei

Isabel turned 10 months old yesterday!

She is now about 20 pounds, love to explore the apt, and love to laugh. I still breastfeed her a little bit in the morning and at night but mostly it's solids and formula now.

We are lucky. She is a sturdy, healthy girl. She would bump her head once in awhile and just move on without crying. I think it's because we don't freak out about it. I can tell she looks around to see our reaction in order to determine her own reaction. When we don't run to her or make it a big deal, she sometimes does not even cry. She just rubs her head a little and move on.

She is also a dare devil. Since she has never fallen, she literally just charges off the bed or the couch head and hands first. We always grab on her feet so she does not fall, but it's scary that she doesn't even hesitate. She is so strong now that she can almost charge off the queen size bed in her room to the floor without our help.

Wow, how she has grown! We are still waiting for her teeth to come in. She babble a lot now and loud, as if she is really saying something that only she understand. We try to always respond, so it seems like a conversation. it will be quite fantastic when she starts to speak words. What an amazing process to watch.

- Lei